I am stuck here.
I don’t know how to not be angry.
Why did he do this to me?
I can’t believe she did this to me.
They left me…..
….and never came back.
They never came back.
That day I lost a part of me.
My mom fights tears every time she says that name.
This is who I was.
Unidentified. Drugged. Alone.
In my head, In my heart , I am screaming.
I want to grab a bat, take “hot sauce” out of my bag and break everything
In my head I scream.
Im angry at me.
Why did I allow this?
Why didn’t I listen to myself?
Why did I put myself through this?
I find it difficult to smile, to laugh, to enjoy life.
Constantly questioning the trustworthiness of others.
Trusting them only as much as I can trust myself.
I don’t trust myself.
I don’t know myself.
I don’t want to stay in this place.
I’d rather put “hot sauce” away.
but I don’t know how.
I guess there are things I must face
The very things that I tried to erase
are the root of this anger.