He hasn’t called because he can’t.

He is not okay.

They are turning him against me.

He knows the truth, he will see.

He loves me.

This isn’t him, he’s being controlled by them.

We will overcome this.

Any and every excuse I could find to excuse the behavior of this man of mine. Every time I rationalized, I’d find another way to prove his innocence to myself. I wanted to believe in him. I was still in denial and finding every reason to stay in that place.

The distance made it easy.

The lack of his presence said he wasn’t guilty.

He couldn’t control what happened here.

But when he could… did he stop it ?

Did he protect what was his?

No, I couldn’t possibly think like this …. that gives him some guilt and I’ve already decided that my perfect guy who yes has hurt me time and time again. Yea the same one that left me back in….. no not him. This guy isn’t capable of this.

I’m not bargaining just being rational.

I’m taking the mature route.

I’ve figured things out.

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