New Begining

5.

acceptance

the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable

I have accepted that I must accept things for what they truly are.

One thing this journey has taught me is that it is impossible to reach acceptance until you make the decision to be completely honest with yourself. That has been the most difficult part for me. Being honest with yourself requires you to look in the mirror and face who you were and who you’ve become; it forces you to take responsibility for your actions.

The thing about acceptance is , it is just that. This doesn’t mean that there’s some big change, that suddenly all the pain goes away and the depression or anxiety magically disappears. It simply means that I am able to accept things for what they are without romanticizing them. I am able to look at situations and the people that weren’t good for me and be real with myself about what they are without the need to protect the feelings or lives of others.

I finally understand just how important it is for me to be concerned about myself and my well being. Self preservation is definitely something I’ve witnessed others practice. I can remember being angry at others, and sometimes I still face this, due to watching them choose themselves over me time and time again. I could not comprehend this but now I understand that EVERYONE should have a limit to how they extend themselves for others. By this I mean its okay to say I can’t, its okay to need time to yourself, it’s okay to focus on you. The energy I spent being mad at others for taking care of themselves I could’ve used to take care of me, focus on my own healing.

Originally I titled this piece ” Finale”.

It is only now that I realize the this is my New Beginning.

I know this journey won’t be easy as I am still grieving what feels like the biggest loss in my life yet, but I know in the end it will all be worth it. Most people say they will come out on the other side stronger, I honestly don’t think that is possible. I didn’t know I had strength but after everything I have endured up until this point, I have learned that I am a giant. I am truly invincible, because I am not alone.

I will come out of this healed, whole, and an even more beautiful soul than ever before.

I have been blessed to begin again and collect life’s beautiful moments from a completely new perspective.

I am blessed.

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